Hickeys? Are they still around?
I remember little hickeys. I remember big hickeys. And I remember having light and dark hickeys too. What I don’t remember is getting a hickey that wasn’t on my neck, but I wonder, where is your hockey?
I’m sorry, but astrologically I couldn’t resist this humorous topic. I read in a recent newsletter sent to my email inbox that this question, How to Get Rid of a Hickey, turned out to be a high-volume Google search last month. I couldn’t stop laughing, but it also brought back a flood of memories.
One memory I resisted recalling was that old folk method that required cutting a small hole near the hickey and allowing a leech, attached to your hickey, to suck the blood that was making up your hickey. If you’ve also heard of this method and are thinking about it, then you may have a more serious problem than the hickey itself.
Where the heck are you going to get the leech in the first place? And if you were able to find a leech, where on your body is the hickey? Because there are some places where leeches don’t belong.
Are you feeling me here?
Now, the urgency of getting rid of a hickey depends on where on the body the hickey is located, right? Right. Well, there’s the hickey on the neck. There’s the boobie hickey. Then there’s the really horny hickey, which is the hickey you get on your inner thigh; but as far as I can understand the problem, hickey on chest and hickey on inner thigh are really only a big problem if you are married or in an exclusive intimate relationship with someone other than the one who gave you the hickey.
If that’s you, get out of town. Goal,
If you are single and just need to hide the hickey from your parents, co-workers or your next date; As far as I know, there’s really no way to get rid of a hickey. I used to grab a long tooth comb and try to comb them out, but that only made things worse.
A turtleneck or scarf is the only answer.
Unfortunately, a hickey will just go away completely on its own. But maybe you can get some help or at least a laugh on how to get rid of a hickey according to your sun sign.
Let’s take a look at all twelve.
Aries people should just fall and hurt their heads so the doctor can wrap them up and draw attention away from the hickey.
Taurus people should buy more turtlenecks. If it’s summer, make them sleeveless.
Gemini people should keep talking and asking questions so that a would-be hickey spotter doesn’t have a chance to notice the hickey, just mistake them for jibber-jabber.
Cancer people should simply enjoy the sensation that the hickey brings both to the mind and to the heart; and do a week away from staying at home.
Lion people, depending on the dignity of their Sun’s position in the natal chart, will either love to show off their hickey or subtly hide it while they check on it from time to time in the bathroom so they can say, “Wow, now that’s a big deal.” fool”.
Virgo people? “Oh No, please don’t give Virgo a hickey.” She will completely throw them off balance and hiding it will become her next full-time job.
Pound people are “apparently” nice, but secretly naughty, so they’ll find a clever way to hide their hickey one moment only to take advantage of a quick hickey flaunt the next. These people will really design the right clothes for the occasion of wearing hickeys.
Scorpion people can just hang the “Do not disturb” sign on bedroom doorknob. The parents will not notice the difference, as they are used to the behavior of this inmate. But be sure that this will discover the passionate revenge of him.
Sagittarius People will probably get caught because his carefree and “outside” personality can’t help but let him hang out there for all to see, unless of course it’s the weekend and they can leave town until he fades away. .
Capricorn people will never experience hockey. They are the only zodiac sign that is still trying to have a moment of holding hands in public.
Aquarium people don’t care if you see it or not. They’re already thinking about starting a website that’s all about hickeys…like How to Get Them. How to keep them. And how to measure their width, height, and color depth so they can enter your Photo Hickey of the Month contest.
Pisces People will fall in love with their hickey by trying different shades of foundation to create the illusion that the hickey isn’t really there, but in the meantime, these star signs are eagerly awaiting the next episode of making hickeys.