The beginning of the adventure: four stages

When you’re starting a relationship with a committed man, it can feel like you’re the only person in the world who feels what you feel. I’m sorry, but that’s not true. In fact, relationship experts will tell you that all affairs follow a classic pattern. That’s how it is. From the moment they first look at each other, they are doomed to be attracted and will remain in that relationship until either common sense or a broken heart pulls them out. The only way to avoid this is to recognize the pattern as it occurs.

Step One: Link

No matter where you are with your engaged man. It can be in the office, at a conference or at a block party. Whatever the location, this is the point where they start talking and bonding. They may be talking about shared interests, children, marital problems. You could even be chatting with your engaged partner in an internet chat room. Chances are you don’t even know at this stage that he’s engaged to someone else. What you talk about doesn’t matter as much as the feeling that the two of you share a special relationship. As they get to know each other, emotional sparks begin to fly.

step two: secret

Okay, you can hang out with a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to start a relationship. However, the sign that things are going too far is when you stop telling other people about your bond with this person. You may have already found out that he’s engaged, but since you’re just friends, there’s no reason to worry anyone about the details. The secret increases their bond as he feels that the two of them are involved in a unique and special relationship. You are starting to fall in love. So don’t tell your friends (unless you’re sure they won’t disapprove) that you’re attracted to a married man. After all, you don’t want the cold water of reality to douse the flames of passion, do you?

Step Three: Appointments

Once you get past the secrecy stage, you want to extend your relationship. This is where you find excuses to get together. It can be coffee, lunch or something else. Maybe they’ll go see a movie, just as friends of course. After all, nothing is really happening, is it? This person is a colleague or friend, nothing more, despite the attraction they feel for each other. And he will make excuses to get close to you and keep the relationship on fire.

Step Four: Intimacy

This is where you take the final step that moves your relationship from a friendship to something more. This could be the start of a roller coaster ride. Let’s face it, sex is great and the thrill of secrecy is greater, so why stop now? And in the back of your mind, you are probably thinking that if what he has told you is true, he will soon commit to you.

Sorry, but that’s not likely to happen. In most cases, men return to their wives or girlfriends once the excitement is over and you are left heartbroken. Of course, you might get lucky and be part of the 10 percent of other women whose engaged partner ends up sharing a home with her.