Goblin – a word and concept I’m trying to make friends with…the key word here is “try”

The duende is the spirit of evocation. He comes from within as a physical/emotional response to music. It’s what gives you the creeps, makes you smile or cry as a bodily reaction to an artistic performance that is particularly expressive (from Wikipedia)

My reality – My fight

Duende- I have been reading The Demon and the Angel: Searching for the Source of Artistic Inspiration, Hirsch, Edward (2003) and have been exploring its meaning and how it applies to me and my artwork. Though I must admit I have this fear that as a blue-eyed white boy from Indiana, my Goblin might have passed me off as someone more interesting.

When I was a kid we didn’t talk about the bad stuff or the “dark” side of history. I was taught that if you focus only on the good things, only good things will happen to you. We repress the bad stuff…no one talked about the pink elephant sitting in the corner drinking tea and eating gingerbread cookies; he just wasn’t really there, he said enuff!

I was fighting with myself about the idea that my artwork could have a dark side, in my mind this meant that it was negative (you know…positive means GOOD, negative means BAD). Here I felt like Glinda, the good witch who makes everyone happy…there’s no place for anything but good things in my world…jumping around and tossing flower petals into the air (well, it was actually pixie dust. ..what can I say). But for me, after I was able to relax about the judgment and the personal blow I felt for my character. I’ve come to terms with Goblin and how he seems to fit into my world. Duende is the shadow of the soul, maybe even my soul, the silent space between my inhalation and exhalation of breath. So maybe I need to change my perception and not see this as a fight, but go up to my Duende and ask him if he would like to dance… music please.

I remember when I was in my early 30s someone reminded me that there is a saying that…
“The brighter the light, the darker and the shadows”, which means they are the same.

I find comfort in these words and I hope to find balance in my life… one day.