How many times have we heard it, the mother of the bride worrying about long lost relatives who have not been invited to her wedding. Or the second cousin you’ve never met who’s upset that she didn’t get an invitation to have her little daughter be the flower girl! Something happens when a wedding is announced and to some it seems like everyone else is slowly taking over the entire event, leaving you to just show up for the day! So how can we toughen up girls?

First, let’s think positively! Everyone is excited, and it’s usually this excitement that causes your helper(s) to get a little carried away. Your mother, for example, may want to plan the whole day for you, somehow relive her own wedding day or plan the day she wished she had. Of course, that’s not always the case, but some moms try too hard and can inadvertently create emotional chaos. So how can you, as the bride-to-be, take back the reins, gain control, and not hurt anyone’s feelings in the process?

I once read a humorous quote that said, “I’m happy to share the road with other drivers, as long as they use the bit behind me.” You don’t have to drive alone on your trip to plan your special day, after all, there is room for passengers, and it’s wonderful to share planning with people who truly care about you and your day. Let’s be honest; If someone is that desperate to make plans for you, they have a willing volunteer right there, so make the most of it! A good way to gain control is to divide the day into each of its parts and then delegate them to the people you trust. The mother of the bride will soon feel important and part of your day while you are in charge of the final decision making.

Have you ever heard of a moodboard or a book? These are great tools that help him jot down all his ideas, randomly, and then rearrange, edit, and delete any he left behind. For example, you may be walking down the main street and see an awesome storefront with skins you’d love to wear. Take a photo and when you’re home, print it out and save it in your mood book. It is possible that you see a car, flowers, sweets, feathers, lights that you love and that attract your attention, if you write them down in your book you will be able to decipher later which of these you could perhaps intertwine and include in your day. If you ask your special helpers, the loved ones who can’t help but organize, you’re giving them a major job of giving you their ideas and you never know, some of them might be cool and something you could use. You’re not just organizing your thoughts, you’re individualizing your day and making it unique for you and your husband-to-be.

So, without taking anyone out of your image, you could get loads of help quite cleverly, stay in control by simply being in charge of a controlled delegation! You’ll remain firmly in the driver’s seat, but hopefully your passengers will enjoy the ride and be able to help you out!