All you two have been doing lately is fighting. Now your wife has told you that she hates you and she wants to leave, or you think she does. Either way, you’re in a bad situation. No matter what you’re thinking, your marriage doesn’t have to end in divorce.
Never, ever threaten her to stay with you. While I’ve known men who did this (and, of course, lost everything in the process), it only leads to losing her for good.
Don’t try to figure out what’s going on in his mind. you can’t. However, you CAN control your own actions towards her. What will that do? It may very well turn things around for both of you and give you a happy marriage again.
If your wife absolutely wants to leave, then let her. That doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means that you understand that she needs some time to think things through, and she needs to be out of the house to do it. She can’t get over anger and ‘hate’ if she constantly faces them.
Remember that if you beg him not to leave, or try everything you can think of to get him to stay with you, it won’t work. She may give in, but it will only last for a very short time. And who wants to live with someone who hates them?
She may not hate you at all. It is possible that she has other problems that she has a hard time dealing with, but that she does not know how to deal with. It is possible that she is taking it out on you, because you are her husband; You’re supposed to be there no matter what, right?
You can’t afford to live this way either. It’s killing your emotions. You may be on guard all the time, thinking that if you do the right thing, she won’t go away. Don’t do that to yourself. No matter what you do or say, she will do what she wants. It’s called free will.
When the two of you allow yourself to spend some time apart, most of the time you will find yourself back together. Emotions just can’t heal if you can’t get out of the situation, even for a little while.
This is why so many couples try a trial separation before contemplating divorce. Most of these couples discover, when they are apart, that they really love each other and that they cannot live without each other.
Even if one spouse tells the other that they hate them, they really don’t. They may hate the stress your home may be under, or they may hate different things in your life right now, but the only one they can take it out on is you.