What about us guys and our commitment phobia? Ever since they were little girls, women have been looking forward to their special day, the wedding of their dreams in Hawaii (or wherever), but most men fear being tied down when they get married. How can the average man feel more comfortable taking the plunge?

First, you need to understand the basic nature of men and women. Women grow up filled with love. They are symbolized by an empty vessel, like a cup, that aspires to be filled to the brim with Life, love and abundance in the world. Women find meaning in deepening love and care, and having a sexual relationship with a man (and possibly having children too) is often the main way they develop their love. From a spiritual perspective, it could be said that women come to know God through love.

Men, on the other hand, are a completely different breed. They thrive on breaking through restrictions, boundaries, and barriers, making their way to freedom on the other side. Men find meaning in conquering their fears, accepting the challenge and bringing out the best in themselves, proving to the entire world their strength, resilience and reliability. Therefore, a man’s primary purpose on earth is not his relationship; he may love his wife (and his children) very much, but he still has his mission, the fulfillment of which drives him to be the best he can be and always somehow leads to freedom in the end . From a spiritual perspective, it could be said that men come to know God through freedom.

There are only two fundamental emotions, love and fear, which are completely opposite. Since the attainment of freedom is the total banishment and conquest of fear, and since when fear is completely gone, only love can remain, you can say that love and freedom are ultimately the same thing. , or two sides of the same coin. Thus, from a spiritual perspective, women and men realize God by going through different paths, but ultimately they reach the same mountain top.

So there is an asymmetry in love: women see their relationship with their man as part (or all) of their purpose for being here, while men see their mission as their purpose for being here. Instead of resisting this truth and trying to change it, women and men would do better to accept their polarities and realize that this is what creates the wonderful sexual energy between them.

With this in mind, men can overcome their commitment phobia by first accepting it as a natural aversion to restraint. Second, they can understand that it is entirely possible to love a woman deeply and still have a mission that drives them to be who they are. Men need to take responsibility for knowing themselves and her mission, and staying dedicated to her while in a relationship. After all, this firmness and strength of character is what a woman really wants in a man. No woman can deeply respect and trust a man who would frivolously abandon her mission. If he acts like this with her mission, why wouldn’t he act like that with her as well?

Men need to find freedom within apparent restraint, and by their calm, firmness, and strength, show that all limitation is an illusion. What better way to do this than being with a woman?

Once a man has overcome his fear of being with a woman permanently, he must reassure her that he loves her deeply and is committed to working with her through difficult times. This builds great trust and allows the man enough space to fulfill his mission while he is in a relationship.