Domestic violence is very serious, it can affect men, women and children. Men are usually the abusers, but men can be abused too. In children when they witness abuse. For anyone who experiences domestic violence, the effects are traumatic.

And the recovery process is long and hard. You can recover, but it will take a lot of work on your part. And you’re going to have to love it. You should talk to a trusted family member, friend, or counselor. And God is the true healer. So please don’t leave him out of your recovery.

It can and will affect you mentally and physically. No, people are the same and things do not affect you in the same way. When you experience or live with domestic violence, you don’t feel safe most of the time and it causes trouble sleeping. Some days you don’t want to get out of bed because you don’t want to face the day. You begin to isolate yourself from family and friends. Even their behavior changes at work or school. You start to lose trust in people. It makes you feel helpless and hopeless due to shame and guilt. But it’s not your fault. It is your abuser who has the problem and needs help. But they have to want to change.

I know this because I witnessed domestic violence as a child and then married a man who I thought loved me. On the other hand, I guess he loved me, but he had a problem. And he abused me for many, many years. I stayed because I didn’t know any better at first, then over time I thought I could change it. It could be enough. Now, I have lived to help others by sharing my story.

So why is it not recognized or overlooked, especially if it is emotional versus physical abuse, as a serious crime? I believe that physical, emotional and sexual abuse is equally bad. And these problems need to be addressed. Most of the cases are men hitting, beating, threatening and emotionally abusing women. But men can also be abused. It also affects children who grow up watching and listening to their parents fight.

It kills your spirit, causes depression and low self-esteem.

The Cycle of Abuse goes in a circle like this: Abuse – feel guilty, make excuses – then fantasy, get flower, candy, take candy and make love – then cheat – abuse comes again.

Verbal, physical, and emotional abuse done to your spouse or partner to dominate and control them. There are also more ways to abuse each other, such as financial abuse, spiritual abuse, and sexual abuse.

Abuse

Fault

apologies

normal behavior

fancy

Setting

The first step is acknowledging the abuse. Once you figure it out, decide if you’re going to leave or stay in the relationship. Protect yourself and your people and agencies who are there to help. Take care. Love doesn’t have to hurt.

God bless you,

denise